Miss Dorian Gray on my couch

First off, do I not have the cutest kitten ever? Ever ever?

Now for the best biscuit recipe EVER. I’m going to warn you right now: don’t read this post any further unless you’re willing to make a commitment. A serious commitment. A commitment to carbs. If you’re low-carb, no-carb, anti-everything-that’s-good-in-this-world-carb, then stop. (Anyways, I don’t know why you’d be reading my blog if you hate carbs…) Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

These, these are crack biscuits. I swear there’s got to be MSG or crack slipped in them somehow while I’m not looking. Maybe there’s some major chemical change while they bake. Maybe, just maybe, the southerners did something right.

The problem is, I can’t stop making them. This is my…7th? batch or so in two weeks. Seriously. At first I didn’t have self-rising flour, and even though they were super dense and tiny and probably not that good, I kept making them will all-purpose flour until I went to the grocery store to buy flour specifically for these biscuits. I’ve also used up an entire jar and a half of veganaise on them too.

And why are they so good? Baked in a muffin tin, they get more crispy on more area, leaving a golden satisfying hardness with each bite of the bottom. But on top and in the middle they are so light and so fluffy and so buttery and so satisfying. I’m eating my 3rd one of the morning as I speak. And did I mention they only need three, THREE!, ingredients?

Southern Mayo Biscuits

2 cups self-rising flour
3 tbsp veganaise
1 cup soy milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Spray a muffin tin with oil. Spoon the biscuit batter into the muffin tin so that each cup is half-full. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until the bottoms of the biscuits are golden-brown.